“Ok, well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron’s dad.  It’s about them struggling to cope with this molestation.  And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there’s music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it."

 

"I wouldn’t regret [my "Brian" tattoo] if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.”

 

“Starscream is the sexiest Transformer. [Why?] ‘Cause he just is. Why is Simba [from 'The Lion King'] sexy? He just was. Maybe it was because Jonathan Taylor Thomas was the voice. I can’t tell you. It’s something I just feel.”

 

“I am pretty sure I am a doppelganger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man. I’m so painfully insecure. I’m on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed."

 

"If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

 

"I think I would make a deal withwith [Megatron, if he were about to wreak havoc on the whole world] and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”